How to Loosen the Grip of Hatred on Your Heart

How to Loosen the Grip of Hatred on Your Heart - Emilia Ann

I’ve realized one very particular on-going theme for me with this election: I’m attached to my hatred and frustration. And I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who is experiencing this.

As humans, we are attached to certain emotions because we believe they will create some sort of change in the outside world or because we subconsciously think our survival is dependent upon them. We believe that guilt will somehow elicit forgiveness, apathy will summon help, grief will procure sympathy, fear will ensure our existence, desire will get us what we want, anger will intimidate and control, and pride will result in self-esteem and respect.

These false beliefs are some of the biggest stumbling blocks to growth. As long as your mind thinks that it is benefiting from negativity in some form or another, it is not going to be too keen on the idea of letting the negativity go. (Because why would you?) At the bottom of it all, if you really subconsciously believe your survival is dependent on these emotions, huge amounts of fear will result just at the thought of transcending them. In your mind, you’ve equated negativity with life and, therefore, letting those emotions go with death. Literal death. (So if this post about letting go of hatred makes you feel afraid and angry, consider that that might be the reason.)

To add to it, we have social programming that sounds something like this:

  • Good people hate bad people. (Which, in your brain, means that if you don’t hate bad people, then you are a bad person.)

  • Being angry is a result of caring.(Meaning that if you aren’t mad, you don’t care, and if you don’t care, you are a bad person.)